I’m a very visual person, so when I think of authenticity, I picture a light that’s glowing inside of your body. That light is right where your heart is, and the more authentic you are, the brighter and more powerful that light will be.
Being authentic means that you are in tune with that light. Being authentic means that you have the power to positively influence people situations, and environments around you. Why? Because when you are authentic, you connect to the authenticity within others. Authenticity is powerful. Authenticity makes your world work for you and with you, rather than against you.
But how do you get to a place of true authenticity? You have to stop sabotaging yourself. You have to drop the unauthentic, and to drop the unauthentic, you must be aware of the unauthentic.
The thing is, sometimes we become creatures of habit. We don’t notice what we are doing, thinking, or speaking – we don’t notice the ways in which we sabotage ourselves.
So here is a call, from me, to you, asking you to ask yourself – Am I real or am I fake? Am I living in my strength or am I feeding the unauthentic things that tear me down?
If you are sabotaging yourself, you may be someone who identifies with the four characteristics below.
Four Ways to Spot a Fake
1) Lying to yourself and to others
When you lie to yourself or to other people, you are giving your power away. You are saying, “I choose to not fix the underlying problem in this situation, and I allow the situation to control me.” You may be thinking that your lies are protecting yourself or others from feeling hurt, disappointed, or out of place. But let’s be honest, your lies are like mud being thrown into crystal clear, beautiful water. Don’t throw mud into the water of your life. When you are honest with yourself and you share that honesty with others, you take back your power and regain control over any situation.
2) Unable to walk your talk
Do what you say you will do. Be credible. Credibility is strength, and when you are unable to walk your talk, everything you touch will blow away with the wind. You want to create lasting success? Lasting happiness? Stop talking about what you will do, and just do it already.
3) Relying on external sources for approval
One great example of this is social media. Are you acting like your life depends on the number of social media likes you receive? If yes, you need to stop. Sharing is supposed to be fun, not something that incites anxiety or a split second of someone’s half-attentive approval. Share things because you had a great experience and you want to share some greatness with the world. The only approval you need is approval from yourself, and if that’s not how you feel, consider taking a mental detox to re-evaluate your true feelings about yourself. It’s tough love, but I know you can handle it.
4) Relying on others to meet your needs
No, I’m not talking about superficial needs here. I’m going deeper than that. Do you feel like you need other people to listen to you? Or pay more attention to you? When you feel like you need something from someone else, flip it around. Do you need to make time to listen to yourself? Do you need to stop giving to others and give back to yourself? “The body speaks to those who listen.” If you feel your needs aren’t being met, take some time out to listen to what your body is telling you (I like to do this through meditation). It could be that you need more rest, it could be that you need to get up and go on an adventure, it’s different for everyone. Take the time to listen. Figure what out what you need, and give it to yourself. It’s pretty empowering – you are a victim to nothing!
Address your patterns of self sabotage, heal those patterns, and release them.
Authenticity is a feeling. Authenticity isn’t about words, it’s not about saying the right thing, or never speaking badly about others. Being authentic is about feeling good. So ask yourself, what does it feel like when I feel good? Trust that, use that as your guide, and the unauthentic pieces of your life will fall away like melting fat.